HEALING, SURVIVING & SUPPORTING
JuLY
LAURA
1. Introduction - Who-are you, What-do you do, Where-do you live?
Hi my name is Laura, right now I am living in West London and I work as a physiotherapist, yoga and pilates instructor.
2. What type of cancer and when were you diagnosed?
I was diagnosed with Stage II Hodgkin’s lymphoma in September 2016, just days before my 1st Wedding Anniversary.
3. Tell us a little about where you are on your Journey?
Now I can honestly say that I am completely better. I never imagined it would take quite so long to feel like me again. I think this is partly because chemotherapy affects your appearance so much and partly because recovering from cancer is just pretty tiring and your body needs some time. I still feel scared if I have a sore throat which doesn’t go away or if I wake up sweaty in the night but for 340 days of the year, I don’t think about cancer.
4. What does “Love Beats All” Mean to you?
Love beats All is just the best and most truthful phrase. Whatever life throws at you, if you are surrounded by love, you will cope. It won’t always be easy and love can’t cure you alone, but it definitely helps to keep you on the right track. You don’t always find love where you expect it either, sometimes acts of love appear in the most surprising and unexpected places.
5. How do you feel our generation of Fighters, Survivors and Caregivers are “Changing the Face of Cancer?”*
Four years ago, when like all of us I turned to google for support and “expert” advice, I felt traumatised by what I found. Blogs where people were discussing their symptoms, their worries, their problems and their complaints. There is a place for this open and honest discussion, but I just found out I had cancer, I wanted some useful advice. Where should I go to buy a good wig, what should I put on my dry chemo skin, what drinks and food would make me less sick, what should I take to my first chemotherapy treatment. I didn’t really want to hear all about the nausea, the constipation and the steroid-related weight gain. Thank goodness, I feel like there is a new tribe of young, fun and fearless females who are starting to talk about the highs and the lows, with those all-important practical tips thrown in like how do you draw on an eyebrow.
6. What is some advice you would offer someone who is about to start their own cancer journey that you wish you would have known?
Your health is your most important asset and when that is taken away by cancer, trauma or any chronic disease, it is just really shit. You grieve the carefree life you lived pre-sickness, pre difficult side-effects and pre a diary dictated by hospital appointments and treatments. You feel jealous about your healthy friends who are still going to work, going to the gym, meeting friends, getting on planes. I guess right now I can explain it like having your own personal lockdown but rather than everyone being at home and planning zoom parties, you have to watch from self-isolation while everyone else’s life carries on like normal. It is tough and I won’t tell you it isn’t. However, it is good to talk and a problem shared is definitely a problem halved. I spent months telling all my friends and family I was “fine.” Thank goodness I had a great counsellor to help me through. If you don’t feel like you can talk to your loved ones about how you truly feel, ask about counselling. I had free counselling in the UK through a charity called Maggies, a great cause if you want to make a donation.
My 2nd piece of advice is about the power of a walk in the fresh air. As a physio, it came naturally to me to continue gentle exercise. While my family panicked about me going out and getting cold, I know my 5 km walk per day was my most helpful medicine.
7. What has made you the most happy or most supported when things get dark?
Time is the best gift of all and if you are supporting a friend of family member right now, ask them when they would next like a visitor. Take some lovely homemade soup, do some cleaning for them when you arrive, take magazines or a great movie and sit with them. Just make sure it is always on their terms, I found there is nothing worse than an eager visitor on the days when you are feeling most unwell but between treatments on a day when you have more energy and don’t want to puke, there is nothing nicer than time with friends.
If you are not able to visit in person, post is really under-rated: Write a letter, send a postcard, send some jokes through the post. Finding something nice on your doorstep is always a lovely start to the day.
8. What are the gifts and/or life lessons cancer has given you?
Cancer has made me wiser, calmer and more grateful.
9. What mission, motivation or information would you like to share with the Love Beats All community?
If you are having a tough time right now because of a recent diagnosis, challenging treatment, disappointing results or a devastatingly short life-expectancy, follow your gut, do it your way, tell people what you need, be selfish – it is okay.
If you are trying to support a loved one right now, know you don’t need to have the answers, you don’t need to make it better, you just need to listen without judgement and be there. Sometimes crying your heart out together is all you can think to do and you know what, it makes you feel better x